Sometimes I think about what last call maybe like. I often wonder what it’s like when you take that last breath. I think about how the soul just flies off to a new life. When I catch myself I realize that it’s mortality knocking to let me know that I must always remember how I live. I hate the idea that I don’t know what to expect. There is no guaranteed entry into a fluffy cloud kingdom and no proof of an underground sauna. I question if I am living right and if that peace we all desperately want will be with me. Mortality knocks and she knocks loudly. When I see myself in the mirror I wonder will I be myself, or will I be myself at a point in time where my life was at its best. I then go on to wonder what if me and Lady Mortality sat down for some coffee what would happen. What questions would I ask Lady Mortality? I think I would ask if i’m walking the right way. I would ask mortality many things but more importantly to please knock softly and only three times.
You ever get the feeling the world is rooting for you to fail? It seems like the more outrageous you want to be the more everyone wants to bury you. During times when I feel like my walls are closing in I simply just extend my arms and scream out. I know it sounds like it’s something dramatic on my part but it works. I’ve lived a lifetime trying to please others and trying to gain a favorable perception. The truth is that the only thing that I should concern myself with is my own happiness.
When the world is against you and rooting for you to fail you need to be most inspired. If nothing else just for the sake of making everyone eat a nice bowl of steaming shit, yes I wrote the word shit. Next time you find yourself in that really awkward spot feeling sorry for yourself and like the world is your biggest enemy, fight only to make everyone understand that their opinion is meaningless. This is not some sort of ridiculous attempt at arrogance but an attempt at surviving and thriving with grace. My points are best validated by the following list:
- Not everyone has the courage to follow their heart.
- Not everyone admires or understands courage.
- People will judge when they are too disgusted with their own lives in order to improve.
- People will attack because they only know fear.
- People will constantly ridicule because jealousy drives them to do so.
When the feeling gets you remember to scream out and move on. As you move forward and you get farther away from the people that attack you it’s easy to see how behind they really are.
crazymuthayouneverheard78 